Dec 13, 2012

Best Ways to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse + Giveaway

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Guest Post from Author Robert Gray!

These are his top ten ways to survive the zombie apocalypse!!

  1. Get on a boat. Zombies are bad swimmers.
  2. Threaten to eat their brains, preferably using a Brooklyn accent. That really freaks them out.
  3. What zombies crave most is protein. Offer them a PowerBar as a substitute.
  4. There are two safe havens where zombies are sure to starve: Hollywood and Capitol Hill … whichever is closer, head there.
  5. Floss twice daily. During these horrific times, it's important to remember proper dental hygiene.
  6. If you find yourself surrounded by a horde of zombies, say politely but firmly, "I will not let you eat my brain." That gives the rest of us a chance to get the hell out of there.
  7. Go on a nice vacation. Everything's open, free and deserted. You can worry about the zombie apocalypse when you get back.
  8. Zombies have feelings, too, and we should respect that. Start a zombie rights movement … I mean, a living deprived movement.
  9. It's okay to use the excuse, "Well, I thought he was a zombie," after shooting your cheating ex-lover in the head. Hey, it's the zombie apocalypse. Might as well take advantage of it.


Maybe being a zombie isn't all that bad. Why fight it?



Author Robert Gray

Robert Gray is a writer.  If that job description doesn't impress you, how about fantasy writer? Too general? Well, he doesn't get insulted if you call him a horror writer. If horror's not your thing, then scratch out horror and replace it with suspense. And for the kiddies, you can slap on a YA or MG in front of that title.

Gray lives in Bushkill, Pennsylvania with his wife and two children.



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EVE HALLOWS AND THE BOOK OF SHRIEKS (BOOK 1)

For fourteen-year-old Eve Hallows, life can be summed up in one word—horrible. She has the most horrible friends. She lives in a horrible old castle. Even her family is a bunch of horrible monsters.
However, in the monster-inhabited world of Gravesville—a world where messages are sent through Ouija boards, jack-o’-lanterns get facials to suit their moods, and the worst thing Eve has to deal with are those annoying zombie tourists who overrun her favorite graveyard during the Halloween season—horrible means wonderful. And everything for Eve is perfectly horrible.
But her life is about to go head over heels when a mysterious group known as The Source starts terrorizing Gravesville. Now she must move to the human world—where everything is opposite ... and for Eve, that's absolutely adorable!


Praise for Eve Hallows and the Book of Shrieks:

"Move over, Neil Gaiman’s CORALINE and THE GRAVEYARD BOOK … make room, Lemony Snicket’s A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS … you’ve got company and competition for shelf space!" -- THE HORROR FICTION REVIEW

"WOW! What an absolutely horrible book (horrible meaning fantastic!) ... This book was laugh out loud funny.  I loved when Mom accidentally turned people to stone.  Dad's crazy attempts at running a pizza store were just hysterical." -- KIDS 'N' BOOKS

"This is the perfect book to be read aloud, read at night under the covers or simply devoured in one sitting. Robert Gray’s Eve Hallows and the Book of Shrieks simply shines with all of its fun creepiness, compelling characters and stellar writing. A MUST read for any MG fan!" -- WORD SPELUNKING

 "Eve Hallows is highly imaginative without being too complex for its target audience. Fall in love with Eve, her friends and her family of adorable monsters. Lose yourself in a light read that will remind you of those days when your English teacher just want you to read something, anything. This book is it. The one that you wish you read when you were in grade school." -- JOYOUS READS

"Overall, this book was fantastic. It presents an admirable role model as well as a strong family unit which will benefit young readers. When so many books right now have presented teens in a not-so-flattering light, it is so wonderful to find a book like this one." -- BOOK COVER JUSTICE


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EVE HALLOWS AND THE BOOK OF SHADOWS (BOOK 2)

Ever since encountering The Source and its minions on Halloween, Eve Hallows has found life surprisingly quiet … not to mention adorably boring! So when Dad receives a Ouija message that she must return to Gravesville, Eve couldn't be happier—at least until she discovers the Director of URNS, also known as the Grim Reaper, has a special job for Eve … one that will lead her to New York City and to the true identity of The Source.
With The Book of Shrieks offering zero help and a new URNS agent driving the school boys—and Eve!—crazy, Eve's beginning to realize this whole saving-the-world nonsense isn't what it's cracked up to be.
All this and she still has to find The Book of Shadows....

Praise for Eve Hallows and the Book of Shadows:

"This book was perfectly horrible! Horrible meaning amazingly awesome, of course. Eve's world once again sucked me in and would not let go until this part of Eve's story was finished" -- LILI LOST IN A BOOK

"This is a perfect combination of YA, Horror, Paranormal and Fun!" -- BOOK LOVERS PARADISE



Purchase




Tour Giveaway
$25 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash
Ends 12/27/12

Open to anyone who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent's permission. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.


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2 comments:

  1. Oh thats just too funny! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow is good to be back with my ex again, thank you Dr Ekpen for the help, I just want to let you know that is reading this post in case you are having issues with your lover and is leading to divorce and you don’t want the divorce, Dr Ekpen is the answer to your problem. Or you are already divorce and you still want him/her contact Dr Ekpen the spell caster now on (ekpentemple@gmail.com) and you will be clad you did














































      Delete

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